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10 Practices to Master the Art of Active Listening
Listening well is not about the quantity of information you seek out, but the quality of information you take in.
How many times have you been told?
You are not listening to me.
Will you let me finish?
That’s not what I meant!
You may find it hard to listen because as soon as someone starts talking, instead of paying attention to their words, your mind gets activated and already starts constructing the response.
What do I agree with?
What I don’t like?
What would I say?
You may talk to prove you are smart, knowledgeable, experienced and worthy of other’s time and respect. You may share your opinion, tell your stories and dole out advice. You may try to get attention by raising your voice, repeating what you want others to hear or saying things in a manner that’s likely to get their attention by being sarcastic or strongly opinionated.
Speaking instead of listening discourages the other person from opening up, sharing and saying what they needed to say. It makes them feel ignored and misunderstood. Fault finding or rushing in with an opinion can also make them shut down and prevent them from sharing authentically.
Think about this: How do you feel when you’re not being heard — frustrated, annoyed and angry at the other person? Do you feel like they don’t really know you or they don’t really get who you are? This is exactly how others feel when you don’t listen.
Listening poorly limits your understanding of others which deprives you from bonding, building trust, learning, growing and most important of all, evolving as a human being.
There’s a cost to not listening — stress in the workplace, poor relationships, misunderstandings, errors, missed opportunities, arguments, stalled projects, avoidable conflicts, and wasted time.
How you listen and respond to others has a significant impact on the quality of your relationships — be it workplace, family or friends.
“Nothing hurts more than the sense that…
