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What if you don’t look the part?
Perceived worth and prove-it-again culture hold us all back.
I just read an article by Judith K. Lang Hilgartner in the Ascent about a time they adeptly handled a situation in which their authority was challenged because of their perceived age. They, like I, have been blessed/cursed with the fresh-faced appearance of unending youth. We have both been taken less seriously in our jobs because of our appearance — and there is only so much that one can do to change it. It’s something that women experience far more than men, and something that women are judged more harshly for than men.
Hilgartner was able to turn the situation into a teachable moment, while maintaining control of the situation and retaining her authority. But it doesn’t always work out for those of us caught up in situations like this. Learning to deal with these sorts of intrusions on the spot requires mental agility and a small catalogue of pre-prepared responses. Every time we encounter someone that demands we prove our credentials, we can learn something from it, and hopefully become that little bit more adept at rebuffing such assumptions in future. At the time, though, it can be uncomfortable and defeating — and each incident certainly makes us a little more jaded. It’s not a simple lesson to learn, but unfortunately it’s one that many will have to, and I don’t know how to make it easier.
The problem for those who look ‘not-like’ their profession is that they always start off from a position several steps behind their more trusted (99% of the time white and male) colleagues, and each time they are confronted with this kind of prejudice, they must prove themselves over and over, in a way that other people do not need to. And it holds them back, and it holds organisations back. Qualified and experienced candidates are placed in unsuitable and unchallenging roles, doing less than they are capable of, to the detriment of their own career and the company’s performance.
When people are underestimated, they get bored and resentful, and businesses don’t make the best…
