Work Up Your Courage For a Redo, and Other Actions for Allies
Each week, Karen Catlin shares five simple actions to create a more inclusive workplace and be a better ally.
1. Work up your courage for a redo
Do you not always know how to intervene when you see bias or harassment? Me, too.
In her new book The Wake Up, Michelle MiJung Kim shares an impactful collection of stories and principles to apply to diversity and inclusion work — from personal practices to organizational change. I could write an entire newsletter based on her advice. However, I’ll stick to just one topic (for now): If you didn’t intervene when you initially witnessed bias or harassment, you can always circle back and revisit the situation.
I get it. We might not know what to say in the moment. We might not want to disrupt the conversation, and we might not feel safe calling something out. Regardless of the reason, Kim implores us to “work up your courage for a redo.”
She goes on to share some suggested phrases we can use to revisit a situation:
- Hey, can we check in about something that happened last week?
- I’m sorry I didn’t address this earlier, but I’ve given it some thought and want to share this.
- I’ve not been able to get this off my mind, can we have a quick chat?
Which one can you imagine using?
2. Replace “All Hands” with a more inclusive term
In the US, October is National Disability Employment Awareness Month. For allies everywhere, one way we can be more supportive of coworkers with disabilities is to reflect on and improve our everyday language choices. In The harmful ableist language you unknowingly use, deaf rights’ activist, writer, and professor Sara Nović explained that shared some phrases that demean and cause harm. The list includes:
- Falling on “deaf ears”
- Making a “dumb” choice
- Turning a “blind eye” to a problem
- Acting “crazy”
- Calling a boss “psychopathic”
- Having a “bipolar” day
Nović goes on to share that “for the most part, people who utter these phrases aren’t intending to hurt anyone — more commonly, they don’t have any idea they’re engaging in anything hurtful at all.”
Yet, using language that equates a disability to something negative is a problem, and it’s something we can be aware of. We have a choice to use more inclusive phrases.
Last week, I learned of another ableist phrase that I have to admit I frequently use in my writing, speaking, and coaching practice: the “All Hands Meeting.”
Dr. Akilah Cadet, CEO of a diversity consulting firm, shared on Instagram that she has hEDS, a syndrome that causes her fingers to be sore with everyday tasks and her thumbs and wrists to be prone to partial separation. She wrote,
“I have hands but I am doing all I can to have daily independence so I can’t be ‘all hands’ at work. I can share ideas, show up, and ask for help when I physically can’t use my hands. Belonging means folks with one hand, no hand and limited hands are valued in the workplace.”
Allies, let’s all take steps to replace ableist language with more inclusive alternatives. Here’s a straightforward suggestion from Cadet:
“Change that all hands meeting to a forum, company meeting, town hall, assembly, or a culturally appropriate creative name.”
3. Say “thank you” when someone comes out to you
During one of my recent fireside chats on Better Allies, an audience member asked me how to respond when a coworker comes out to them. Previously, they’ve said something along the lines of “Thanks for letting me know” and offered some supportive comments. But could they do more as an ally?
I suggested they ask the person what support they might need and let them guide the conversation.
I also recommended they read my friend Jeannie Gainsburg’s book The Savvy Ally. (You may remember she was the guest author of 5 Ally Actions back in August.)
After the fireside chat, I looked up Gainsburg’s advice for when someone comes out to you. She says to thank them, perhaps with a “Thank you for trusting me enough to let me know.” Then listen, and let them take the lead on anything they want to discuss.
If there’s an awkward silence, she says you can throw in one of these comments:
- “Congratulations! I’m so happy for you.”
- “I’m here for you.”
- “This calls for a celebration! Can I take you out for a beer?”
Thank you, Jeannie.
4. Remove gendered language from business templates
Earlier this year, I wrote about a global law firm that removed gendered language from its legal templates. They replaced terms like “Sir,” “Chairman,” and “he” with neutral words such as “Colleague,” “Counsel,” and “they.” In a press release, they announced that their goals were to promote gender equality, challenge unconscious assumptions about gender roles, and recognize that not everyone identifies as male or female.
I must admit I was surprised that anyone still had things like “Dear Sir” in their business correspondence. Or other outdated gendered terms. But then this happened.
Last week, a client sent me an NDA to sign addressed to “Ladies and Gentlemen.” 😯
As you might have guessed, I edited their pdf to be a more inclusive “Colleagues.”
5. Considering a land acknowledgment statement? Understand why
I remember the first time I heard a land acknowledgment statement. A few years ago, my husband Tim and I were in Victoria, B.C., at an event hosted by Mayor Lisa Helps celebrating the local tech scene in this Canadian city. The opening remarks acknowledged the Indigenous inhabitants of the land we were on. At the time, I found myself wondering why we didn’t do something similar in the States.
Since then, I have heard a handful of land acknowledgment statements at US-based conferences and webinars I’ve attended. Earlier this week, I was in a prep meeting for a talk I’m giving for the University of Wisconsin, and the organizers discussed who would give the land acknowledgment at the event. But it’s far from commonplace.
When I saw that September 30 was the first day of Truth and Reconciliation in Canada, I thought about tweeting a land acknowledgment statement. I wanted to show I was paying attention to current events and honor the lost children and survivors of residential schools, their families, and communities.
As I searched online for examples, I soon realized I had some work to do to understand why I wanted to make such a statement. In A Guide to Indigenous Land Acknowledgment, I read about the importance of starting with self-reflection. They recommend asking,
- “Why am I doing this land acknowledgment? (If you’re hoping to inspire others to take action to support Indigenous communities, you’re on the right track. If you’re delivering a land acknowledgment out of guilt or because everyone else is doing it, more self-reflection is in order.)
- What is my end goal? (What do you hope listeners will do after hearing the acknowledgment?)”
I’ve since decided that my reasons for having a land acknowledgment are to inspire people to be better allies for Indigenous coworkers. Specifically, I want people to eliminate phrases that disrespect Native culture and traditions, to be aware and combat bias facing Indigenous people at work, and to sponsor their career growth.
With those goals in mind, I acknowledge that I’m sending this newsletter from what is now called Burlingame, California. It is on Ohlone territory.
Now it’s your turn. If your organization has made or is planning to make a land acknowledgment statement, I encourage you to ask why and get clarity on the goals.
That’s all for this week. I wish you strength and safety as we all move forward.
— Karen Catlin, Author of Better Allies®
Copyright © 2021 Karen Catlin. All rights reserved.
I wrote this article in what is now called Burlingame, California. It is on Ohlone territory.
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